June 15, 2005

  • Perceptions of perfection can be skewed by individuality. 

June 13, 2005

  • A wise man told me that
    insects are perfect.  I said insects are
    disgusting.    He said they're perfect.  They do what
    they're supposed to do without fail.  He said they're
    perfect.   I slept on it.  He's right.  They're
    perfect, but I was right too.  They're disgusting.  I thought
    about the movie a bugs life.  I realized they're perfect. 
    Expect for that one bug.  That bug that saved the colony.  He
    was the one who was imperfect.  He was the one who acted like a
    human.  He was our hero.  Thinking about perfection in this
    way made me re-evaluate perfection.  Maybe it's not all it's
    cracked up to be.  I also read a kids book "Be a perfect person in
    just 3 days."  It was an cute story about a little boy who wanted
    to be perfect and found a book in the library which taught him how to
    do so.  *Here's the part where I spoil the story, so if you intend
    on reading it stop reading this entry.*  The boy finds perfection
    to be nothing more than people sitting in a white room perfectly still
    sipping on weak tea.  He decides being perfect is not all it's
    cracked up to be.  I think the moral of the story is, being
    perfect maybe isn't good.  Maybe we're supposed to be
    flawed.  At the same time, perfection is/has been an ultimate
    goal.  Actually just outside of perfection would be good.  I
    don't mind be a little messy.  I don't mind being a little
    slow.  I don't mind being not so athletic.  I don't mind
    being a little not perfect.  But while perfect is always the
    unachievable goal, there is always something to strive for. 

June 11, 2005

  • I've been having
    this fear lately.  I don't know where it's coming from.  I'm
    watching all these women at work, get married, buy houses, have kids,
    have more kids, come to work everyday.  I'm scared to death to get
    married, have kids buy a house and end up with a mundane life where my
    biggest goal is to take care of other people and make them happy. 
    I've done that my whole life.  I want freedom.  I want to
    travel.  I want to do nothing.  I want to eat chocolate ice
    cream for dinner and not have anyone ask me "When are you cooking
    dinner?  Hey, what's for dinner tonight?"  etc.  I want
    to see Europe.   I want to spend time driving around the
    country.  I want to be able to take a trip for the weekend because
    I want to, and not worry about baseball practice or dance class. 
    I want to walk around my house naked.  I want to swim in every
    ocean in the world. I want to climb a mountain.  I want to live
    life.

May 10, 2005

  • Hang Man

        "Miss. H, can we play Hang Man today?"
        "Are you packed up Joe?", Joe nodes his head.
        "Ok, Joe."
        "Yay!"  Joe runs to erase the black
    board.  The other children are noisily packing up.  Joe is
    ecstatic.  The kids guess his words and he begins bouncing up and
    down clapping his hands.  I promised DeAndre he could go
    next.  DeAndre chooses the word "workbook".  All the students
    know it's work book because they saw him count the letters on the
    workbook.
        "W" guesses Chelsea. 
        Seeing what will happen I jump in "Z".
        "NO!" says De Andren who unlike Joe does not want the children to guess the word.
        "Workbook" guesses Shamel.
        "No, you have to guess the letters, right Miss. H!"
        "Yes, everybody guess letters."
        "Watermelon!"  guesses Tremaine.
        "No, what's wrong with you" chimes in
    Terrence.  "Its workbook, he copied it off that."  he says
    pointing.  "O".
        "Yes", says DeAndre putting an O on the board. 
        "P" says Natalie.
        "Nope"
        "Workbook!  It's workbook!!!" Shamel exclaims frantically.
        "You have to guess letters!!!"
        "Miss H we all know it's workbook.  He's done."
        "You have to guess letters." yells DeAndre.  At
    this point even my frustration level is high.  I tell the class
    you know its workbook, you know you have to guess letters, just guess
    the letters in the word workbook.
        "J"
        Mrs. M and myself just start laughing.  Michael
    begins laughing because we're laughing.  Only Chelsea and Terrrence
    get that all they have to do is guess the letters for the word
    workbook.  The room gets noisy with frustration and letters flying
    everywhere.  Chelsea and TErrence are just trying to get DeAndre's
    attention because they know what to do.  The room is buzzing when
    they finally get the letters on the board.  As soon as its up,
    someone says "See!  I told you it was workbook!"  I shoo the
    busers out of the room and it quiets.

May 9, 2005

  • Apparently
    I'm a bad person because I forgot to buy white bread yesterday when I
    went food shopping.  I was asked to buy some.  Ten minutes
    later I was asked accusingly "Why didn't you buy white bread
    yesterday?"  What do you respond to that?  Well there was a
    giant elephant standing and eating all the white bread.  I asked
    him for some but he threatened to bite my head off.  I remembered
    to buy milk and I bought everyone fruit!  Once again, I'm not good
    enough.  Then she wonders why I dont like her.

May 3, 2005

  • Hoping today will be as good a day as yesterday!

April 29, 2005

  • So in general Iive by two standards. 


    Number one:  Everything has to be done in moderation. 


    Number two:  Less is more.


     


    Am I acutally able to follow these standards, not all the time.  No one is perfect.  But there they are.  I will write more on them later.  Which is part of another unwanted standard I seem to live by:  procrastination.  That one needs to stop.

April 28, 2005

  • So all week I've
    been going to bed at unbelievably late hours and get up ridiculously
    early.  I finally figured out why.  I've been drinking large
    cups of tea late at night.  Duh!

    Last night I decided to go to bed at a reasonable hour (11ish). 
    But last night there was a thunderstorm.  Of course one of the
    boys (Thomas) I'm babysitting for is afraid of thunder.  So he
    asks me to sleep in the pull out bed next to his. No problem easy
    request.  I lay in the bed (at 8 when he went to bed) for an hour
    until he falls asleep.  I get up to do work.  I come back
    around 11, fall asleep.  Around 11:20 I feel a -- poke poke. 
    It's Thomas.  "It's thundering again."  So the rest of the
    night every hour or so I get a -- poke poke -- and a comment about the
    thunder.  Following this there is a 15 minute discussion about
    thunder (each time).  So you can imagine how well I slept last
    night.  Only to wake up this morning (with an alarm this time) to
    get up at 6 to get the boys ready for school. 

    SLEEP!  I JUST NEED A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP! 

    In general in a very good mood anyway. 
    I should try sleep deprivation more often, it makes me delirious.  Maybe that's a good thing.

April 27, 2005

  • Something wrong  with this picture...

    It's vacation time.  I woke up today (Wednesday, a day off from
    work) at 5:50.  I was hungry so I got up to eat breakfast, which
    lead to me vaccuming and scrubing the kitchen floor.  I'm talking
    about hands and knees scrubing...  I know there is something wrong
    with this, and yet, I couldn't fix it this morning.  So now that's
    it 7:20am, I'm getting back in bed for a while.  Maybe I can make
    this right after all.